{traditions}

Hey guys,

Don't think I've forgotten about this sweet lil' wedding diary o' ours. These past two weeks have been kind of hectic. Between holidays and finishing up school, I've been kind of burnt out. I am proud to say however, that I finished my degree (BA in Sociology - woot woot) and all of our Christmas shopping is done. So happily, I'm back to blogging.

While D and I may not be the most traditional people, there are a few wedding traditions we are going to throw out yet, some that are keepers, and some that will get a remix.

Bouquet toss:

 

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We're going to nix the bouquet toss and the garter toss. While I'll definitely DIY a garter to sport for the day but more for momento than tossing. I'm not unfamiliar with the dread and embarrassment that entails standing with all of your fellow single friends while you are expected to fight for the bouquet. Ugh. On more than one occasion, I may have threatened single friends against physical pain if they did not join me in the joy that is the toss.

Instead, we're going to do something that honors the wonderful relationships in our life. It's called an anniversary dance.

An anniversary dance is where all of the couples are invited onto the dance floor with the bride and groom. While the music plays, the DJ will announce different amounts of time such as less than one year, two years, etc. When it reaches the amount of time that the couple has been together, they exit the dance floor. The dance is over when only four people remain dancing: the bride and groom and the couple that has been together the longest. The couple that has been together the longest will receive the garter and bouquet. It's a sweet way to pay homage to the marriages and relationships that have acted as role models for our own.

 

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No peeking:

 

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While some of the first look pictures melt my heart, we won't be doing on. D and I are practical people and while getting some of the pictures out of the way before the ceremony sounds appealing, it means losing something else. I know that my groom would still be excited to see me coming down the aisle even if he gets a little peek before hand, but I don't want to lose that special moment. A friend of mine told me that she can always tell if a couple is going to be together forever from that glance across the aisle. While I know that is so super cheesy, I believe it. I mean really, D and I give each other those giggly googly eyes when we stand on opposite sides of the large grill at Mongolian Grill. Why would I want to miss out on that excitement on our wedding day?

Well. I lied. Because I do want to do a first look. Just not with my groom. Instead, I want to do a first look with my daddy.

 

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My dad has always been my rock - the stable part of my life that I knew I could always count on. It is really exciting to show my father the woman that I have become on my wedding day and share that special moment with him.

The walk:

This is a picture of me and my daddy. I remember the outfit from back to school shopping for first grade so I must have been about 6 years old. Try not to stare at my chubby face, mmk?

While I'm talking about my daddy, let's talk about the big walk. My wedding day is the moment when D becomes my partner, my husband. By no means does my father's importance to me diminish, but D's promise to protect and provide for me becomes concrete. It is fitting that my father guides me to my future down the aisle in the same manner as he always guided me through life.

Old, New, Borrowed, Blue:

This is the necklace that I plan to wear for our wedding. It's actually a Frankenecklace. Pretty much it is made of two parts: the string of peals and pendant. The string of pearls was a gift from my parents for high school graduation. I wore them when Dennis and I walked together to get our high school diplomas. The gorgeous pendant was a gift from my future mother-in-law for my 21st birthday. It is a sapphire which is my birthstone and also the stone of our anniversary month. Sapphire is also the same stone that my father always got for presents and the same stone as my engagement ring.

My darling little Frankenecklace will be both my something old and my something blue. There will be a whole post later but consider this a teaser. (PS: That is East of Eden by John Steinbeck if anyone is wondering. It is my current re-read.)

Vows:

D and I will not be using the traditional wedding vows. We are not overtly religious people and do not want to include God-heavy vows in our wedding. We know that this is controversial subject and many family members might object but it is not something that we feel is right for us. Our spiritual relationships, both personal and within our future marriage, are remarkably personal. So personal, in fact, that we don't want to share it with a large group of people.

We plan to write our own vows and not use the traditional "do you take blank to be your blank for richer and poorer" format. D and I have had a lot of divorces in our families and many of those divorces used the traditional vows. We don't want to make the same promises that we each have histories of being broken in our families. Instead we will write the vows together, make it an activity where we find a way to articulate the unique promises we are making to each other. 

First dance:

 

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D and I are not big dancers. Well. Unless you count the goofy kind of dancing you do when you've had a couple of shots. Because we do that. We totally do that. But real dancing? Uhmm. We still will do the first dance as a married couple because that is moment we want to experience. We'll sway like 6th graders, however, to a relatively short song. I have had one in mind for a long time but I don't think I'm ready to share yet.

There are so many traditions that are associated with weddings that I'm sure we haven't even scratched the surface yet. Seeing as though we have 500+ days, we have time to think and rethink and rethink.